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The Battle and Desiring Oneness!!

John 17:11b

…that they may be one, as we are.



I’ve kinda been in a funk for a couple of days. I don’t know what caused it this time. I’ve been getting better at identifying the root of why it happens to me sometimes but I haven’t been able to figure this one out. It’s ok. God knows and He is faithful and though I am off I’m not inherently discouraged or despondent at all. Might not sound like a big deal but oh let me tell you that’s a massive win all by itself. I’ve been experiencing a greater freedom and a heart that is more at ease for the past 8 weeks or so since I was able to get to a place where thankfulness met surrender in my life. So so good!!!

As I read this passage again this morning and it was talking about oneness. I couldn’t help but have a longing for HOME and realizing perfection and a oneness with my Jesus that is so fleeting and not even fully realized yet. Some days that longing is stronger than others. Sometimes I just flat out want to go Home!! Lest anyone think I’m going crazy I assure you I am not!! I believe many times now I am just tired of the battle. I’m tired of the loneliness. I’m tired of the brokenness. I’m tired of battle against these spiritual forces of wickedness who only want to discourage, condemn, and render me powerless. These are real battles of my heart. I’m saying them and writing them here as I believe these are real life battles that everyone has but many don’t speak them or even want to admit them lest someone judge or think less of us. I mean after all we’re supposed to be strong Christians who have it all together and weakness and internal strife is lot something that we’re supposed to be experiencing. Well there it is and I’ll be the first to admit I battle with these things almost daily. I’ve been experiencing greater victories in this area and regardless of how I’ve been feeling lately I’ve been able to stay encouraged and positive and focused on Christ and the fact that no matter what is going on in my life that Jesus is doing something for me in it all.

So this Saturday morning I’m writing this and owning it to anyone who reads this. I long for oneness with Jesus today. Maybe not for all the right reasons. Maybe so that the battle is done. Maybe it’s not more important to me in the immediate to see His face but for eternal rest of heart and mind and perfection to be experienced and realized for for eternity. That’s where I’m at this morning but honestly even just writing this seems to be helping my heart and mind. They say it closes the loop in the mind for thoughts that we battle with. There definitely is something to it.

So maybe this morning there is someone else out there who is battling through their days and maybe there aren’t many good ones and there hasn’t been for a long time. Let me encourage you and point you to the One who can help you. His name is Jesus!! And maybe you are tired and it seems that even He doesn’t care about you and your situation. Can I tell you that He does oh so much and can I encourage you to reach out to Him and trust in His great love and heart of kindness and mercy and grace!! Grab onto hope in Jesus and plant your flag in the Rock that is higher and greater than anything on this earth. He will not let you down. He has never let me down!! No not once!! And in the times where He seems silent I can attest to the fact that He is still faithful and true. His mercies are new every morning and His compassion it fails not!! I’m trusting Him through my funk and realize that He will not fail me or let me down and He wont you neither!

Because…

He loves you!!

And so do I!!

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